The Fine Line Between: Deciding to Stay or Go
by VoiceOfAngels1
Summary: When the Doctor finds him seld on a certain beach again he wants to go but when he bumps into somebody who seems ratehr familiar his mind is swayed.  I do not own Doctor who  unfortunatly
1. Stay or Go

The Doctor ran frantically around the TARDIS pushing various buttons, twisting weird looking sticks and whacking the main panels.

'Amy, you see that green button' he yelled whilst trying to concentrate on a million different things.

'Yes' she yelled over the sound of sparks and Rory's screaming.

'Hold down that green button' The Doctor yelled.

Amy obediently did as she was told and held down an odd looking, round, mouldy green button.

'Now Rory' The Doctor yelled 'there is a purple switch next to the door, flick it for me and then we should all be okay'

Rory quickly dashed over the door and scanned he sides until he saw a tiny purple switch. He flicked it and within seconds the TARDIS felt stable again and Rory felt less likely to throw up everywhere.

'Wow!' the Doctor said 'that was close, now let's see where the old girl has taken us'

The Doctor turned o head to the door and with a grin he stepped outside.

'So, Doctor where are we?' Amy asked gazing around at a sand covered beach and not too far in front was the ocean with the waves crashing against the rocks.

Suddenly the Doctor's face became dark 'every time' he suddenly cried 'every time I think I'm over her some twisted trick of fate always brings me back here!'

'What do you mean?' Rory asked.

'It doesn't matter but I think we should head back to the TARDIS' the Doctor.

'Okay' Amy said turning around.

'I can't stand my hearts to break again' he muttered to himself but he had a feeling Amy heard it.

Suddenly from behind they heard a candy coated voice yell 'you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous with the waves this vicious'

'We are just going' he said spinning around but as he did so he stopped. His hands started to shake before noticing that the person who was addressing them was just like Rose… The same sunshine hair, the same radiant skin and lips that would've matches Rose's names.

Except, this girl had different eyes.

These eyes didn't belong to Rose; they belonged to someone completely different. They belonged to him.


	2. Truth or Lie

The Doctor could barley turn around and that was all he wanted to do. He just wanted to turn around.

'Doctor' Amy said taking the Doctor's hand 'Like she said I think we should go'

The Doctor suddenly let a smile fill his face 'and since was I one for following instructions. Let's have a look around for a while'

'We're just on a beach, Doctor' Rory said 'there are plenty of those on Earth in our day. In Britain for that matter. Can't we go to like Victorian time or something?'

The Doctor's mind flashed back to Queen Victoria and the werewolf. Who'd have thought the royal family were all werewolves.

'No, been there, done that. Got the knighthood' the Doctor said with a grin 'C'mon let's have a good look around'

The Doctor suddenly felt a hand touch his shoulder. His whole body filled with shivers and his grin that he had forced to form vanished.

'Please can you leave now!' the girl said 'my boss will kill me if he finds out you are here. Just come with me for the mean time and we can get your box back later. Okay?'

The Doctor turned on his heals brushing the sand from under his feet with a reluctant Rory and Amy in tow.

They scrambled up the rock face until they reached smooth land where the waves couldn't get them.

'So what are your names?' the girl asked.

Amy went to open her mouth but the Doctor got there first 'This is Amy Pond and Rory Williams however they are married' the Doctor suddenly stopped. He couldn't say he was the Doctor and he couldn't say he was John Smith. If Rose was around she would see right through him 'and I am... Luke… Smith. Luke Smith' _Thank you, Sarah _he thought

'Oh that's cool my name is Lily Tyler' the girl, Lily, said 'I'm from a long line of flowers, my mum was Rose and my great-grandmother was Violet. My twin brother, Jack, got off easy though'

'Brother!' the Doctor blurt out before he could help himself.

'Yeah' Lily said 'Mum says he's named after a good friend she met a while back. She says it was a different life back then. Won't tell me anything about it though!'

'How come?' the Doctor asked. He always thought if Rose had children she would tell them the endless tales about him and her. The stuff of legend.

'Says she doesn't want me getting into trouble and following her lead! Ha! Like that would stop me!' Lily laughed.

After a bit more walking they arrived at a small office that had the words 'Bad Wolf Bay Life Guards'.

'So you're a life guard' Amy asked with a smile.

'Training' Lily said 'mum decided she wanted to move to Norway after my Dad died'

'Oh I'm sorry' Rory said 'that must have been hard'

'No not really he died when I was really young, like two or something' Lily said and as she said it his hearts sunk. He had left the human him behind so Rose wouldn't have her heart broken again but it just turns out he made it worse.

They went inside the small life guard shop. It was small and dirty and painted TARDIS blue.

'Oh hi mum' Lily said as she sat down and sat in one of the mouldy brown sofas was a late thirties, early forties Rose.

Of course the Doctor didn't expect Rose to be the same after all these years be at least expected her to have the same bright eyes and happy face. Replacing all of those was the dreary signs of heart ache and age. Just like what the Doctor saw in himself. He hadn't made Rose's life better. He had made her life like his. Always hurting, always running and caring too much about those you have left.

'Hello love, I just thought Id drop off your sandwiches' Rose said 'who are your friends?'

'Mum, I'm seventeen. I'm not a baby anymore! This is Amy, Rory and Luke. They were on the beach in the storm if you would believe it! With a little blue box to top it off!' Lily laughed but nobody else was laughing. Rose's face looked at Rory then Amy then the Doctor. Her eyes froze on him.

'Doctor?' Rose said standing up 'is that you?'

The Doctor also froze, could he tell her. Could he lie? What would be the right decision? Maybe he should have left when he had the chance. He just wanted to see her and now he had a feeling he was opening old wounds again and not just for Rose.


	3. Live or Die

'Doctor who?' the Doctor said coldly. If he hadn't been so distressed he would have laughed at the amount of times he had heard those two words in his long life. Never once did he imagine he would be the one saying them.

'Oh… don't worry' Rose said her face turning dark. He could see how much she wanted him to tell her that he 'was the Doctor' and that he 'had come looking for her' but the truth was that he wasn't the same Doctor anymore.

He didn't mean in appearance, that wouldn't have mattered but he had a different personality and friends. Rose wouldn't understand how much she had made him change and alter so he wouldn't feel the hurt. No way would he ever be able to heal again if he ended up feeling something for Rose.

'It's just my dad' Lily finally said breaking the silence 'it's kind of confusing. He is dead but there is another one who isn't. I wouldn't worry if I were you'

The Doctor suddenly felt a warm hand take his and drag him outside. Amy.

'What are you doing?' Amy said 'why are lying to them? And one of them is your daughter! Doesn't that matter to you?'

'You don't understand, Amy!' the Doctor pleaded 'she isn't really mine. There are like two of me! One of them is dead, he was half human, and he spent his life with that woman in there, Rose. She was in… she was in love with me. And I kind of felt the same Amy, but I had to let her go'

'But you can be with her now!' Amy said.

'I can't because one day she's going to die and I'm not and you have no idea what it's like to see that happen to someone you…' the Doctor said not finishing his sentence 'and the same will happen to her children, Lily and Jack, and so on and so forth. You can't expect me to watch that happen and that's why I have to go'

Amy and the Doctor turned to get Rory but before they did they realised that Lily had been stood there and heard the whole thing and all the Doctor could do was mutter 'Just what I need now. A moody teenager who's just worked out who her father is'


	4. Love or Lost

'You're my dad?' Lily yelled 'you're the Doctor!' tears were now running down her face.

'I'm so sorry…' the Doctor said 'really I am!'

'Sorry? Sorry' Lily screamed 'is that really all you can say! You broke my mums heart, pretended you were dead and left me and Jack without a dad!'

'You have to understand I didn't…' the Doctor went to say but before he could Rose had joined the scene.

'Lily, dear, can you just leave me and the Doctor for a second' Rose said calming the mood.

'But…' Lily went to protest but she could see by her mother's eyes that she should go back inside with Amy and Rory not too far behind her.

'Rose, listen to by, I am so…'

'Doctor, I understand' Rose said.

'You understand? After all I did to you?' the Doctor asked with amazement.

'Yes. Doctor, I am forty years old. It's been nearly twenty years since I last saw you and I really wasn't expecting to anymore. I have made my own life in this new world now. I thought I had finally got it right with your clone but the truth was that after a couple of years his human brain couldn't take the time-lord mind and he got Alzheimer's and passed away' Rose whispered so it was just audible above the waves in the distance.

The Doctor felt his whole insides burning, he was right, he did make things worse!

'Rose, if I had any idea I would've never…' the Doctor said.

'I know you wouldn't have but I need to tell you something now and it's very important' Rose said 'I was lucky. I didn't end up dead o mental I'm okay, but I was close. So, please Doctor take those two people you came with home before they end up dead and you standing over their grave'

'But, there are my friends' the Doctor said like a stubborn child.

'And what did you teach me a long time ago' Rose said her old eyes starting to look slightly youthful again 'if you love someone you let them go!'


	5. Right or Wrong

The Doctor sat in his TARDIS, coughing back tears as he did so.

'You did the right thing, Doctor' Amy whispered but he knew she was saying that to comfort him.

'Yeah' Rory parroted 'you did.'

The Doctor ignored them allowing the soft hum of his TARDIS to calm him down.

He flipped one of the leavers as his hand shook.

He peered up at the screen as it faded. He hadn't noticed it before but the grass sprouting fro the cliffs spelt out "Bad Wolf".

He chortled to himself. Rose was right in every sense. If you love someone you let them go.

His past self would've had the courage to do that but now… he wasn't sure if he could just abandon Amy and Rory. After everything they had gone through.

_One__last__trip_, he thought to himself, _one__last__trip__and__I__let__them__go._


End file.
